Sunday, July 13, 2014

Day #102: Letting Go of the Guilt

In an effort to de-stress, reduce anxiety, and just feel an overall sense of calm, I'm working on doing a little mental overhaul.  Generally speaking, I don't feel a lot of anxiety in my daily life, but lately I have been drowning in it.  There are so many uncertainties in my life right now, from deciding what route we are going to choose for schooling this fall to the ever-burning question of what path I plan to take career-wise in the future, and it is severely impacting my anxiety level.

I cannot live this way!  It is time to take some steps to reduce these feelings and the first step is to let go of the guilt.  The mom-guilt, wife-guilt, daughter-guilt, friend-guilt...all of it.  Each day I do my best and in the end, that is all I can offer.  My decisions may not please everyone nor be understood by those important to me, but they will be the best I can offer at the time.  If I could just let go of the mentality of "if I choose this, what might others think" and shift it to " this is what's best for me and my family" I feel like my anxiety levels would drop substantially.

This may be easier said than done.  I feel like my biggest critics are those nearest and dearest to me.  Their intentions may be good, but it can be mentally draining at times.  If I am brutally honest, I just want to be supported in my decisions.  I don't want to hear the "If I were you" lines or feel guilty because my decisions may not match their expectations.  

Wow.  That was hard to say.  Perhaps it's time for some heart-to-heart conversations with those in my closest circle.  They can be the most difficult, but the most important.



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