Day #56: Taming the Beast

I'm working on taming the beast.  You know, that volcanic eruption that rumbles in your stomach and results in an angry, irritated, frustrated mother monster?  Yeah, that's me.  I try so hard, honestly, I do.  There are times I can just keep on keeping on when my kids are not listening or saying inappropriate words, but there are times when I simply cannot.  When there's a time constraint and I'm left alone to corral all four kiddos, it's just a recipe for disaster.

I understand the triggers, I really do.  I do the best I can to avoid being rushed and scrambling at the last minute, but it seems no matter how far in advance I try to prep everyone for leaving, we still find ourselves in this situation. Yesterday I allowed a whole hour to prepare to leave for my daughter's preschool graduation.  I gave three of my four a quick bath and immediately got them dressed, but two pairs of ripped tights and three children ignoring my requests to go the bathroom and put their shoes on later we were behind schedule...again.  We make it to the van, but I carry my stress and feelings of irritation with me and when my car is filled with children yelling "poop," "butt," and "toot" every five seconds, the beast emerges.  It is ugly.  I am sad.  Feelings of guilt mixed with irritation emerge and I am left to consider how I can put an end to this ugly cycle.

I'm still pondering that one....and trying not to beat myself up too much.