I must admit, there are days where I feel pretty good about my parenting and there are days where I feel pretty awful about how our day went. Some days I can keep it together, keep my voice from raising into that loud, yelling register, and feel as stress-free as a mom of four can. Other days my voice only knows that loud, yelling register and I could pull my hair out by 8:30 in the morning.
I do my best to celebrate the good days, but it sure seems easier to beat myself up after a bad day. I so badly wish I could consistently keep my cool, especially when under fire (you know, when one or all of your kids are screaming and crying or you're just trying to get out the door to be somewhere fashionably late). I am making imperfect progress. There are days I can do this, but there are also days where there are just too many triggers firing off in my brain and I just explode. Not pretty...sigh.
I have begun to recognize some of the triggers that really set me off: not enough sleep, lack of sunshine, not having any time to myself, and kids not being able to follow simple directions. This is a pretty conservative list, though. I suppose part of this process is figuring out where my weaknesses lie and to do my best to find a way to cope and diffuse the situation before I lose my patience.
Oh, this journey of motherhood is full of ups and downs. This season is challenging, but if I can just keep pushing through and recognizing my weaknesses, I hope to continue on this path of imperfect progress.