Day #68: Preparation

We are leaving on our family vacation in two days!  This will be our first LONG road trip and we are excited and a bit nervous.  Today is my last whole day to prep and I am feeling pretty good about the progress I've made.  I am super Type A and thrive on having a plan.  This may be one of those times where this is a good thing.  For the past month I've been making my lists and checking them twice!  They are coming in handy in these final few days and I am confident we will be all ready to go when the time comes.  If there's one lesson I've learned, it takes a lot of preparation to get a family of six ready to hit the road for 11 days!  We are all so excited!!!!!

Day #67: Childhood Memories

Today we spent the afternoon with our friends and neighbors for a Memorial Day BBQ.  It was so fun to see all of the kids running around (and by all, I mean over 20!).  Our kids were less than thrilled to leave because they were having so much fun!  These are the days to cherish.  Our kids are in that care-free phase of childhood where they just love to get together with their friends and play.  It made me stop and think about how much I enjoyed the same types of get-togethers when I was a child.  It is fun to watch this evolve with my own children and see how much they value the friendships they have made.  Making memories...

Day #66: Impromptu Fun

I've read several pieces about letting go of the need to have everything planned.  As a self-proclaimed planner, that is easier said than done, but in some aspects of my life I have gotten better about this.  My husband is very laid-back and this comes naturally to him, but for me, most times I find this to be a challenge and feel out of my comfort zone if there isn't a plan.

Today we had an impromptu cookout with our neighbors.  Nothing fancy, but fun just the same. Soon a few more families joined us in the backyard and with that there were ten kiddos playing and a bunch of adults having the opportunity to just sit and talk for a bit.  It was great and one of the reasons I love living where we do.  We are surrounded by great people and many of us have young children who love to play together.

The moral of the story?  You don't need detailed dinner plans to invite your friends and neighbors over to enjoy a meal together.  Sometimes the best moments come when you least expect them. As my son put it, "I just didn't want it to end Mom.  It was so fun."

 I'll say it again:  it's the little things in life!

Day #65: The Songs We Treasure

Tonight my sweet baby girl was fussy.  She was tired, but having a difficult time calming down until I began to sing.  I sang my favorite lullaby, "You Are My Sunshine."  I followed it up with my other top three songs:  "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," "Jesus Loves Me," and "Skinnamarinkadinkadink."

I don't know how these four songs came to be the go-to songs we sing to our children, but over time we have spent countless hours singing these tunes.  To this day they find their way into the bedtime routines of our oldest children and now we are beginning again with your youngest. They are sweet songs of love and I hope our children realize how loved they are.

It's the small routine parts of their lives they will remember the most.  I hope when they have children of their own these songs will sneak into their homes.  I'm sure when I'm rocking my grandchildren someday I'll sing these songs to them thinking of the days when their mom or dad were little.  (Ooh, that made me tear up just thinking about it!).

It's amazing how calming a song can be.  Especially a song sung by the ones entrusted to take care of you.  I need to remember to try this more often.  The immediate silence followed by sleep was just the sign I needed to remind me how powerful a mother's love can be.

Day #64: Rest

Today I went to the doctor.  I usually try to push through when I don't feel the best, but this time I figured I better head in.  After a quick visit and receiving the diagnosis I had expected, I was told to get some rest.  Followed up with a stern look from the doctor and an "I mean it.  Tell your spouse you need rest."

Resting is not something that comes easy when you have four young children.  There are no sick days, because regardless of how you're feeling there are people counting on you to tend to their needs.  I almost laughed out loud when I was asked if I had a sitter I could call so I could rest. The answer was no, but even if I did, my kids would still find their mama.

I figure someday I'll have the opportunity to rest again.  Until then, I'll just keep forging ahead and count my five minute catnap as rest.

 

Day #63: Asking for Help

Why is it we find asking for help to be so difficult?  Whether it be help around the house from our spouse, from friends and neighbors to help you out in a pinch, or to seek out professional help when you feel you've lost your way.  As a mother, why is it so difficult to speak up, to put our own needs first for a change?  We do a phenomenal job noticing when our kids or spouse may need some help and are usually quick to jump in to try to make everything right.  Why do we wait hours, days, months, years to finally speak up on our own behalf; to take notice and realize that perhaps we simply need some help?

If I had to suggest a theory, I would say it's because we're parenting in a competitive, self-sufficient, image-conscious era.  We want everyone to believe we have it together, that we can manage whatever is thrown our direction and manage it well.  We may feel if we ask our friends and neighbors for help, they may view us as a mother who is in over her head.  If we ask our spouse to help unbury us from the pile of household tasks we may fear being viewed as incapable of caring for the kids and managing the house, or worse, just lazy.  If we seek counseling from a professional, we may fear being viewed as weak.  As mothers, we try to steer clear of feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, and shame.  If we are trying to avoid these feelings, asking for help is certainly out of the question, right?

Wrong.  At least it shouldn't be.  I struggle to seek out help, but lately I've tried to accept those invitations from others who have offered to...help!  As a person who likes to feel independent and self-sufficient this is difficult.  I like to believe I can manage everything on my own and will be just fine, but truth be told I can't.  The sooner I embrace this, the better.  The sooner we as mothers let go of our need to appear to have it all together, to be Pinterest-perfect, the better off we will all be.

Being a mother is the toughest job we'll ever have.  It is an exhausting, exhilarating, emotional roller coaster ride.  Our "work" is to raise a part of the next generation and ensure we are providing a laundry list of important life experiences, values, and plenty of guidance.  This is a pretty big undertaking and to think we can do it only in conjunction with their other parent, with little help from others, is absurd.  There is a reason why it takes a village.  Let's make sure we are accepting the help the village is willing to provide.

          

Day #62: The Power of Words

The other day I read a post from one of my new favorite blogs, The Hands Free Revolution.  It was a very real, touching piece about breaking a child's spirit.  It made me cry and I immediately forwarded the link to my husband.  We all do our best to be great parents, but in those moments of stress, chaos, exhaustion, and grumpiness we can sometimes be ugly.  I could see some of us in her examples and it made me sad.  We walk such a tight rope between teaching our children and breaking their spirit with our criticism, correction, and tone.  We'll never be perfect parents, but we can do our best to me mindful of our words and actions.  I certainly don't want my children to grow up feeling like they aren't enough.  It was certainly a wake-up call to be mindful of how powerful our words truly are.

If you haven't read the piece, here it is:  http://www.handsfreemama.com/2014/05/20/to-build-or-break-a-childs-spirit/